Republican and Democratic presidential candidates have decided to put partisanship aside and do their part for the planet. Instead of jetting around to each campaign stop in planes and buses, they have come up with environmentally friendly transportation plans. Each candidate’s plans are as follows:

• Mitt Romney will ride his bike door to door spreading the good news of his campaign across the country.

• Obama will fly to each campaign stop simply by flapping his ears.

• John McCain will hire illegals to pull him around on a rickshaw, thereby doing jobs Americans won’t do.

• John Edwards plans on driving a clean coal vehicle, using coal mined by his father, (who if you haven’t heard yet, worked at a mill).

• Ron Paul is trying to find a way to capture the brain control waves deflecting from his tinfoil hat. Once the power of the waves are harnessed, he will be able to power his spacecraft.

• Giuliani apparently has already started running across the country. He got word his ex-wives are chasing him.

• Mike Huckabee will wait to be taken up in a chariot of fire. If the chariot doesn’t arrive, he will drive an eco-friendly vehicle, powered by a 20,000 squirrelpower engine developed in Arkansas.

• And of course … Hillary Clinton will ride her broom.